Whatever career you might be pursuing, there is a core aspect that never changes – every business is a people business and our success depends on being able to create an authentic connection with employees, customers, partners, and investors.

Creating this connection is the easiest when there is some sort of shared history or commonality. However, this tends to be a relatively small circle of people that can get tapped out pretty quickly. Our professional and personal growth depends on continuously expanding this circle by being able to connect with and influence a fresh set of people, perhaps each week if you are in sales or are a founder, but every few months at the minimum for most of us.

We meet these new folks at events and conferences, through warm introductions from shared networks, and in many cases now, establishing the first contact on social media. Given the noisy world we live in, each one of us barely gets a few minutes during a first meeting to establish chemistry with a complete stranger. If we fail to create a positive vibe during these initial minutes, it’s unlikely that this relationship will ever enter our professional funnel for a possible collaboration later on.

As a venture investor, I am at the mercy of this problem statement every day. Being able to quickly bond with a new set of founders, LPs, co-investors, and operators is a core part of the job. I totally concur with this thought from Semil Shah (Haystack):

Venture capital is a people-flow business.

Semil Shah (Haystack)

Personally, going to events and mixing around has given me unprecedented ROI (I previously shared my events playbook – “Networking at Events for Introverts“). I have also made some wonderful friendships by doing 1:1 meetings via warm intros.

During these conversations, I have tried various mindsets, approaches, and mental models to deconstruct interacting with strangers. I keep running experiments across mixers, dinners, and 1:1s, introspecting what worked well and what didn’t in a particular context. Essentially, I have been trying to distill it down to whether there is something fundamental that seems to work across contexts, and which, therefore, merits being incorporated as a core behavior.

One such element I have seen work really well is demonstrating a natural curiosity during the first few minutes of interaction with a new person. With each passing year, I have come to believe more and more that:

The cheat code for faster career growth is having the ability to influence strangers by demonstrating curiosity.

We live in a highly egotistical, self-absorbed world where everyone is a creator, trying to market their personal brand and posting content about themselves. Most people love to talk, and talk only about their stuff!

I have observed very few people taking a genuine interest in another person’s journey. Asking interesting questions of someone you have just met has become a lost art. The social conditioning of this era drives people towards talking more and listening less.

However, humans have a basic yearning to be heard. Have you noticed that when someone appears to be taking interest in what you have to say, you feel a natural pull towards this person? In this attention-starved society, when someone devotes that scarce currency to a first conversation, it’s extremely powerful.

I see this working in so many situations. When pitching to a potential customer, the key to closing a deal is taking the time and devoting attention to understanding their pain points and concerns, instead of mindlessly plonking your product on them.

An investor can leave even the most seasoned founders with a warm feeling during the 1st meeting if they take the time to go beyond superficial pitching theatrics and truly try and understand their journey, their backstory, and what they have painstakingly built.

The key to a successful partnership is listening to the other side to understand their goals, motivations, and what they care about, including the personal journey and incentives of the individual championing the deal.

Genuine curiosity can be incredibly disarming. It’s about putting the constant internal self-talk to the side, being in the moment, and focusing on understanding the other person. If this becomes a consistent part of your personality, you will automatically see this translating to a bunch of new meaningful relationships each year.

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